Mine was when I was in middle school. 8th grade. I had just moved to Washington to live with my dad and step-mom. New state, new home, new school. I was getting ready to turn 13, which meant I was boy crazy like any normal girl my age. And what do you know, I found myself smitten in the tiny school I was now attending.
I can tell you this with certainty, I fell hard and I fell fast. I was a hormone charged teenage girl. I couldn't help it even if I wanted to. What others saw as dorky and weird, I saw as tall, dark, and handsome. I can also say this with certainty, I pushed hard. I think I pretty much demanded that he date me. I actually made him ask if I would "go out with him." (My step-mom's favorite response to that was, "Out where?") I was also extremely jealous.
Because of my jealousy, I would break up with him several times. Looking back, we were so much dating as practicing divorce. With the same person. At least a dozen times. I got jealous of his best friend (who was a girl and later became one of my good friends), I got jealous of a new girl that came to school (who I later became best friends with), I got jealous of just about any female within a ten mile radius. This was mostly because I was VERY insecure about myself. I didn't think I was pretty, or smart, or funny, or worth anyone's time. I had actually gotten a guy to pay attention to me. I'll be damned if someone took him from me.
The whole 3 and a half years were just rough. Fun at times, sweet during others, but mostly a lot of stumbling through what I thought was a "real relationship." For a while, I thought I was going to end up marrying him. Seriously. I had it all thought out. Living either in Washington or Colorado, have three girls, two cats, and we would just be madly in love. Oh, to be young.
I can say this though. Through all the drama and crap we put each other through, there were some genuinely fun and amazing times. I remember him and his step-brother coming over to my house with their parents. My boyfriend, his step-brother, and myself walked down to the lake and went swimming. I think the water had to be about 45 degrees. It was freezing. We also spent a lot of that day video taping everything. I still have a picture of the three of us watching something we had recorded. I remember when he dressed up as Peter Pan one year. Tights and everything. I've never laughed so hard in my life. He pulled it off though. I wouldn't be surprised if he still hasn't forgiven me for that one though. Lol. I remember spending Saturday afternoons at Rosario Beach. Walking on the beach, running around the island, sneaking kisses when no one was looking.
Looking back, there is no doubt that I loved him. I loved him a lot. It was a faulty and immature love, but love all the same. It's something I think about from time to time. Just being young, dumb, and in love. As messed up as it was, it was probably the best relationship I ever had up until I met Kyle. I learned a lot from that first love though. Without that, I don't think I would be able to love Kyle as much or as well as I do. That's why that first love stays with him, and why I will always be grateful for him putting up with me. I love him immensely. That will never change.