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A Fabulous Day In History

6/30/2015

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June 26th, 2015 is a new day in history. It was on that day that the Supreme Court ruled that all 50 states must allow same sex couples to be married. When it was announced, the country blew apart. People stood on their sides and screamed, cheered, cursed, and threw glitter across the picket line. Five days later, it still hasn't calmed down. People are still being hateful, prideful, egotistical, and just plain bitches about the whole thing. 

You want to know about a few other days in history?
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August 18, 1920 - Women earned the right to vote. This was a big day in our country. Women had spent their whole lives being told they didn't deserve the same respect as men. We were to bow down to the will of men and do as we are told. We weren't allowed to take our own lives in our own hands. We began breaking down that wall in 1920 when women earned the right to have a say in what happens to them. The road to that victory was not an easy one. Women were arrested for their beliefs. They were beaten and a few even killed. When that right was being fought for, and eventually won, it was appalling to people. It was still taboo even after the victory. But now? It's an everyday occurrence. No one thinks twice about it.

January 31, 1865 - Slavery is abolished. Need I say more on that one?

April 10, 1968 - The Civil Rights Act of 1968 prohibited discrimination concerning the sale, rental, and financing of housing based on race, religion, national origin. It also made it a federal crime to "by force or by threat of force, injure, intimidate, or interfere with anyone … by reason of their race, color, religion, or national origin." Now THIS seems familiar, doesn't it? Churches telling congregations to avoid african americans like the plague. Parts of the government telling their citizens to ban african americans from everything. Parents teaching their children to hate someone because they are different. There are assassinations, beatings, tortures, kidnappings, destruction of property, and more terror than we like to remember. African Americans on one side, white people on the other. And those white people that supported African Americans? They were treated with the same disgust and hate. Why support someone who is different than you? Why would you uphold such a crazy belief that we are all people? But where is all that hate now? I don't see states, governments, or churches banning African Americans from their equal rights. 
People are still being hateful, prideful, egotistical, and just plain bitches about the whole thing. 
Since the beginning, America has been fighting a never ending battle. There will always be someone feeling like they aren't being treated equally. Are we going to be able to help every single person. Of course not. That's unrealistic. But why are we so resistant to change?

If you are religious, it makes more sense in my mind to fill your churches with the sinners, the people that need the saving. You want to "save" someone from the homosexuality? You're going to have better luck with them in church. You don't ban someone from the hospital with a broken leg do you? 

If you are religious, where does it say that you are going straight to hell without so much as a "see you later" in the bible? Where does it say that if you are gay or lesbian or transgender that there is no chance that God will forgive you? Where does it say that anyone who is different from you is going to burn in hell while you watch and eat popcorn? Hint: IT DOESN'T. 

And let's say, for argument's sake, that it did. Where does the bible say that YOU are going to hell if you don't cram your beliefs down someone's throat? I hear the comeback for this constantly - "But homoesexuals are craming their beliefs down my throat by forcing me to accept them."

No. No they aren't. They are asking for the same rights that you have. They are asking for the same right African Americans have. They are asking for the same rights that women have. They are asking to be treated like people.
Galatians 5:14 - The entire law is summed up in a single commandment, "Love thy neighbor as yourself."
Would you deny yourself the right to marry who you love? Would you kick yourself out of your home because you are different? Would you allow someone to beat you within an inch of your life because you aren't the right gender to vote? Would you allow someone to set you on fire because your skin is a different color? No. Interesting concept, right?

Here's where I stand on the whole debate. 

I support same-sex marriages. I have friends and family member that are homosexual. I love them. And I want them to be able to marry whoever they damn well please. I'm not about to judge or tell them they can't do something because I believe something different. I'm not about to play God and make that decision for someone else. Because you know what? My hands aren't clean. If yours are, please, pick up a stone and start throwing. But I'll be damned if I don't call you a liar first. 
James 4:12 - There is only  one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But YOU--who are you to judge your neighbor?
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Dear Daddy...

6/21/2015

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To My Dad - 

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Thank you for not killing me as a small child. Seriously. The older I get, the more I realize how many times it must have crossed your mind, at least for a split second. The pouting, the crying, the yelling, the shrieking, the talking back, the rebelliousness. And that's all before I hit age five! You and I can just blame mom for all that. We'll say it comes from her side of the family. Lord knows my inability to shut up comes from yours, so it seems like a fair trade. 

To My Husband, The Father of My Crazy Kids - 

Thank you for putting up with those two monsters we made. I know I was a SAHM for almost three years, but I mainly dealt with poopy diapers and teaching them to crawl. That son of yours talks now and I'm thinking he would look amazing in Leopard print duct tape. Sound good to you? That little girl has got you hooked though. In a big way. But I'm pretty smitten too, so it's good. Just try to remember that when you are attempting to murder the first boy she kisses. Baby girl loves her daddy, and she'll love you more if you don't kill him. (I'm all good with cutting off fingers though.)
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To My Late Step-father - 

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Thank you for not killing me as a teenager. Or my sister for that matter. I know you didn't get a chance to really ease into the idea. I'm sure you just wanted a hot girlfriend. You certainly got that, but she came with two pretty crazy daughters. Three for the price of one plus the cost of a warehouse full of Advil, right? Sounds like a bargain to me! And you aren't physically here to say otherwise, so ha! I win! I will though expect a case of the hiccups as punishment in the next 24 hours. 

To all of the "Dads" in my life - 

Thank you for being the amazing men that you are and were. This world would stop spinning without you here to hold it together. Women like to say we keep the world spinning (it might have something to do with that whole child-birth thing, but whatev's). But I would like to let you in on a secret. 

You dudes, you dads, play a HUGE part in the spinning world. Who teaches our sons to care about women, learn to fish, fix a flat tire (because Lord knows I don't want to), and be strong for those you care about? Who teaches our daughters to expect nothing than the best from their significant others, to play softball, cook a mean steak to make her husband (assuming you let her date before she's 30), and that she will never be alone in the world?

Give you one guess....

You do! Dads do. Fathers are their sons hero and their daughters Prince Charming. You are your wives King (just don't forget to take out the trash before you sit on your throne in front of the TV). You are more important than you think. You are more important than you could ever realize. 

Because let's face it. Without you, there would be no us. 

Just don't let it go to your head. 
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When Do We Even Out?

6/10/2015

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Parents switching roles can be tricky business. It's no small feat, and when you have two kids under three, you have to be delicate. But more than that, you in a way have to reconfigure the whole construction of the family. 

Kyle and I have been working hard at this for just over two months now. Getting the kids used to the idea that mommy wouldn't be home all the time anymore was actually the easy part. Kyle and I both thought it would take at least a week before the kids leveled out. But they both surprised us and didn't really seem to notice. They still got to eat pizza and play outside. They're good.

What Kyle and I have been struggling with, is the change of roles between the two of us. Finding that happy balance where we are both getting what we want and need is turning out to the surprisingly messy. We are having to learn to compromise on a lot of big things. 
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I work six days a week. Most days when I get home, I'm super ecstatic to see my kids and Kyle. I love hanging out with them in the backyard for a few hours. Kyle wants me to go have some alone time. He doesn't want me to have to deal with the kids after working all day. I love that. I love that he wants to take care of me. But just because I work outside the home now doesn't mean I'm not a mom still and have to "deal" with screaming children. It happens to the best of us. And he had to do the same thing when he was working.

Now that he's a stay-at-home dad, I don't feel like he's getting as many breaks or as good of breaks as I did when I was a stay-at-home mom. He's with the kids for much longer than I ever was on a more consistent basis. I'm glad that he's able to do that (I'm actually crazy jealous about that). But nap-time doesn't count as a good break. That's a necessary one. And in my mind, going on a date with me isn't the same either. Everyone needs alone time to recombobulate. 

We are slowly but surely stumbling our way through this transition phase. Everyday gets a little bit better and a little easier to wade through. I know we are getting there. But I'm a super impatient person. Actually, Kyle and I both are (which explains why Chase can't wait for me to finish peeing before he starts demanding juice). So this period of crazy limbo is frustrating to both of us. 

One thing that this has helped without a doubt is our ability to communicate. I've always been able to communicate. Whether or not is was done well or with grace is totally up for debate (and I'm sure some of my family would happily yell NOPE! for you if you ask). But all of this is forcing us to learn to communicate better with each other. Seriously ladies, this man is willingly TALKING to me! Crazy!

Everyday I'm thankful that I'm going through all of this with Kyle. He hates parts of this journey because it's unfamiliar territory (emotions, feelings, screaming children, etc.) and it can be really daunting. I'm feeling pretty small too. Lots of things are going on at work constantly and I'm still trying to learn everything. Throw in still trying to figure out this whole wife and mother shindig and you've got one confused chicka (and yet another reason I am so thrilled to have my meds). 

It's going to keep getting better. Kyle, the kids, and I will at some point figure all this out. Our family will at some point level all out. But in the meantime, who doesn't love a good see-saw?
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    Maniac Mom

    My name is Kristen and I suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder. This is my hysterical journey as a mom of two dealing with life twists and turns while trying to not let my "crazy" get too out of hand. I strive to be a happily depressed mom.
    Grab a cup of coffee or a shot of vodka and bask in the mania!

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