Then, there's the other kind of people. There are the people that are two-faced, mean, rude, pretend to be know-it-alls when they really don't know their ass from their elbow, and when given the opportunity, will spit all over you. These people make you feel horrible about yourself. They make you feel like less of a person.
There is one last group of people. There are those that will try to tear you down because you have a mental illness. There are people who refuse to understand this crappy disease and will tell you to just get over it.
"What do YOU have to be depressed about?"
Yesterday morning, I woke up to a comment on Maniac Mom's Facebook page that was, well, less than friendly. Worst part of all of it? It was my next door neighbor. After hearing my story, hearing about my struggles, knowing some of what I've been through, she decided that she needed to try and tear me down. I don't know how many people saw it, or even if anyone did. It's since been taken down, and she has been blocked and banned from that page. I refuse to have ANYONE try to tear me down and tear down those who are struggling with a very real disease.
When I first read it, I was mad. I was furious. I called my husband and cried. She had no right to spread lies about my life and my family over the internet. NONE! And that's exactly what she did. She was also very, very passive aggressive about it. This grown woman was hiding behind Facebook when she lives 30 feet away from me. Seriously? Really? Needless to say, I was passive aggressive right back.
I wrote her the following letter...
I wanted to take just a moment and let you know that I received your comment on my Facebook page. Not only have you been blocked and banned from it, but I had a few things to say to you. Since you obviously prefer a passive aggressive approach to this, I figured a letter would be the most appropriate response.
First of all, for one who at one point told me they understood what I was going through, I’m shocked and hurt by what you said. Way to lose the trust of a person. I hope you are proud of yourself for that.
Second, while you did hurt my feelings, I’ve never been more disgusted with a person actions. I noticed the time you sent that comment. 5:30am this morning. I can only assume that alcohol or pot was involved in that decision. And seriously, you are how old? 50ish? And you are choosing the passive aggressiveness of a 13 year old. Way to make yourself seem younger.
Third, for someone who claims to know so much about the entire world, I’m quite appalled by what you DON’T know. Like mental illnesses for instance. If you really did have a mental illness like you’ve claimed, you would know that I don’t want to be depressed. I don’t want to have anxiety. I don’t want to have this the same way people don’t want cancer. But guess what. I do. Boo-yah. Take that. I have a MENTAL ILLNESS and I’m okay with that. I love who I am. I doubt you can say the same thing, otherwise you wouldn’t have to tear me down via Facebook.
I don’t know how you found my blog. And frankly I don’t really care. But you OBVIOUSLY didn’t read a damn thing on there. How do I know that? Because my blog is not about how hard being a mom is. It’s about showing other parents with a mental illness that yes, you can screw up, get mad, feel like the worst person, and can not smile for days. It’s about not letting your mental illness define you and giving others the courage to speak up and ask for help. It’s about showing that someone with a mental illness can have kids, be a wife, be a daughter, and can be freakin’ awesome. (It’s also about crafty, Pinterest-y things, but I’m sure you didn’t notice that either)
So. Here’s where I stand. If you want to continue to be passive aggressive, that’s cool. I have a younger sister and two kids, so I’m familiar with the protocol. If you want to grow up and act like an adult (or heaven forbid your age), you can come talk to me. Before you do though, since you love being a know-it-all, you should take a few minutes to glance over the packets enclosed. They are overviews of all the MENTAL ILLNESSES I have either been diagnosed with or are showing signs for. If you want to have an adult conversation, I figured I would be nice enough to give you material on the subjects you didn’t know.
Kristen - A mom with mental illness who is not afraid to stand up to your passive aggressive ass.
Is it my finest moment? Probably not. But I'll be damned if I let anyone try to tell me I'm a horrible person because I'm depressed. I refuse to lay down and tell me I'm not a real mother because of my mental illnesses. I will not let anyone who doesn't know me on dictate what goes on in my family. I don't care you who are.
I don't know if she will continue to read my blog. I hope she does. In her comment, she mentioned how it was a blog about how hard being a mom is. If you're reading my blog, and that's what comes to mind, you're missing the point.
Let me make this perfectly clear. This blog is about erasing the stigmatism around parents with mental illnesses. It's about showing others who are like me that it's okay to have a mental illness. It's okay to be proud of who you are no matter what circumstances you are faced with. It's about the hilarity of having kids and making crafts. It's about sharing family friendly recipes and talking about how crazy men are. It's about sharing stories and helping others who are facing mental illness everyday. It's about LIFE.
If she is reading this blog, I hope she realizes what she has done. I hope she recognizes the fact that she is part of the problem and starts trying to change her views on those of us with a mental illness. I hope she comes to her senses, and sees that the world doesn't need another person tearing people down. It's needs more people willing to lift people up.
Stigmatism is everywhere. You can't escape it. But you don't have to take it lying down either. You don't have to just accept what those haters say about you and to you. Throw a handful of glitter on their grumpy butt and skip away.