Even my neighbors and friends are starting to notice the difference in me. I'm not a quick to anger, I'm more social, I'm losing weight again (down to 185lbs. woo hoo!) and my overall vibe has gotten worlds better from a few short months ago.
It's been nice feeling more like myself. I've missed me.
But even so, not everything is roses and rainbows. Not everything is peachy keen.
I still have days where I lose my temper for no reason (literally). I still have moments where I want to run away. I still have mornings where it takes every ounce of strength to get out of bed and take care of the kids. I still have hours where all I want to do is scream and cry.
All this, and I'm considered stable.
A lot of people I know that suffer from a mental illness lose hope because of this. They start sinking back when they do have those moments of weakness and relapse. They start to lose focus when they start feeling down again. They will lose faith in themselves when the meds don't fix everything.
I've run into so many people who think that because they are on medication to help with whatever mental illness they have, they will be happy and healthy all the time. They believe the meds will not only help fix their mental illness, but get rid of every and any negative feeling they've ever had.
I wish it worked that way. I would love to never be mad, sad, or depressed ever again. That would just be the bees knees.
But it doesn't. Nothing is ever that easy.
Just because you are considered stable, doesn't mean everything is always awesome. You're still human. And even people without a mental illness still have bad days. They still get angry, get sad, get disappointed. No medication you could ever take will ever be a "cure-all" for life. You still have to deal with it.
Being stable means you are still unstable. You still have emotions and feelings. You still have to deal with life. Being unstable is an okay thing. It's how you handle that instability that is the true test. It's how you bounce back that really shows how far you've come.
You will always be unstable in your stability. You are stable when your unstable. They go hand and hand.
So keep looking up. Things are getting better even when it doesn't feel like it. You're almost there. You've almost bounced back. You're almost stable.