Once I got into see the psychiatric RN, that's when the barrage of questions started. What was my first memory? What was elementary school like? And middle school? And high school? What about college? Did you go? Did you finish? What's your relationship with your parents like? Your sister? How's home life? How does your pinky feel?
After going absolutely everything, to the point where she probably knows every detail of my life and has it logged away in a computer, she told me what she thought was going on.
She had no idea.
While it is apparent I have a mental illness, what I have exactly is the bigger question. I show signs and symptoms of depression, anxiety, bi-polar II, PPD, OCD, and a dash of mania. Um. Yeah. Great. You know what it officially says in my record now? I have a mental illness. The description? Other. I'm a un-diagnosable mental health patient. Two psychiatrists, two social workers, four BHA's, two RN nurses, and a therapist, and I'm STILL un-diagnosed. How crazy is that?
On the plus side, I was able to have a really good talk with the nurse. We spent a little bit talking about the mental health care system and how broken it really is. A good number of people that work in the system want to genuinely help and feel they are being put in the best place to do that (nursing, BHA, therapist, etc.). But there are still a TON of people that work in the system that are out for the paycheck or it's what they could get with their degree (their dream job hasn't arrived yet). And that has a huge effect on the broken pieces that are in the mental health care system. You've got the people who aren't really there to help, that are just there for selfish reasons, and it causes huge gaps. Huge holes that swallow people up and can actually hurt them more than they help. Those that are in the system for the right reasons aren't the majority, so it's hard to get ANYTHING fixed.
You know when people in the system are feeling the pressure of the cracks, it's getting really bad. Hence my passion and drive to bring more awareness to the mental health care system and the help it needs. It needs more people that are there to help others because they know what it feels like. It needs less people who are they just for the paycheck. We need better education for doctors and other medical professionals. And we need better facilities with a bigger and better paid staff.
Do not take this as me saying that you shouldn't use these resources. If you need the help, get it. No excuses. You may just have to dig a little harder to find the right fit for you as far as therapists and psychiatrists go. But it's worth the leg-work if it means getting the help you need,
As some of my other projects start rolling on their own, I'll be spending a good amount of time bringing awareness and spearheading a campaign to change this horrible pattern that has been started.