Laughter is also very important to keep doing when you have a mental illness. It's one of the only things that can truly pull you out of a dark place, even when you don't want. When something is really funny, depressed or not, you WILL laugh.
There is something I'm looking forward to, the older I get. I used to do it to my little sister, but this time around, I think it will be a million times better. I dream of the first day it really happens.
Every mom wants to be a "cool" mom. Me?
I want to be a weird mom. Call me sick, but I can hardly wait for the day when I get to embarrass my kids.
No, seriously! This is a day I can not wait for. Right now, my kids thinks my silliness is awesome and fun and cool. One day, that will change. They will think I'm crazy, weird, and just plain embarrassing.
And oh boy! do I plan on delivering.
Making Chase give me kisses when I drop him off his first day of high school.
Calling pads "wingy things" at the store with my daughter.
Showing off the naked baby butt pictures when their dates come over.
Dancing down the aisle of Target when a good song comes on.
Making funny faces at them when chaperoning the middle school dances.
So. Much. Fun. For. Me.
I want my kids to learn that they shouldn't worry about what other people think. It's okay to be weird and not "normal" if that's what makes YOU happy. You don't have to constantly try to fit in, because the right people will find you if you are just you.
I spent years of my life being miserable because I was tormented in elementary school. It wasn't until high school that I started not caring what others thought (maybe that's why I was the only one in pink I my "goth" group of friends). I found people who accepted me for me. Akwardness and all.
I still have my moments. I still have my days where I will NOT leave the house without a killer outfit ad make-up. But I want Skylar to know it's okay to go out looking frumpy if you're just running to King Soopers. That it's okay for Chase to be a bit "dorky" and excel in math. It's okay to jam out to your jam." Even if you're in the middle of the mall.
I want my kids to learn from my example. It took 20 years to finally get comfortable with myself and my weirdness. I don't want them to wait that long. I want my kids to be confident and love who they are, no matter who is watching.