My how the time has flown. A year ago, you were placed in my arms, so tiny, so sweet, so precious. I was instantly in love with you, as was your daddy. You were the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen in my entire life. And I had waited a lifetime to meet you.
A year as gone by, darling girl. So much has happened. So much has changed. You've wrapped everyone you know around that sweet little finger and runaway with all of our hearts. You can keep them though.
I look at you, a year later and can't help but smile as tears fill my eyes. I never thought I would have something so amazing in my life. You are the reason I keep pushing through all the shit. You and your brother keep me going... even when you are BOTH driving me crazy.
You are walking all over the place and attempting to run. You love to give kisses and snuggles. You are a total foodie like me and are obsessed with your daddy. You can wave bye, but hate saying goodbye to anyone. You love making people smile and laugh. You have the cutest little sassy attitude that just makes me so proud to be your mommy.
As I sit here and think about all that has happened in the past year, part of me smiles and part of me is saddened. I'm so happy that you came into my life. You just jumped right into it like you knew it's where you needed to be. I can never thank you enough for being the light in my life when everything else has gone dark. You will never know how much I love you for being in my life. You have kept me alive, baby girl.
I tear up though, thinking of the things that have happened that you will (thank god) never remember. My trip to the mental hospital, the days I can't seem to get out of bed, the days where all I seem to do is yell and scream at you, the days where I feel I'm the last person in the world that deserves you or your brother. I wish things were better for you. I wish we had our own house, with your own room. I wish we could buy you anything and everything. I wish I could give you all the things I imagined I would give you and Chase too.
But my precious Skylar, I see you smile and I forget all of that. I forget how we struggle some days to keep it together. I forget that we don't have a fancy house, fancy car, or piles of money to send you to college. I forget that the world is sometimes a shitty place. I see you smile and my world is perfect.
We have a long road ahead of us, Sky. Things will not always be easy and may even get worse. But I promise you this.
You and your brother will always hold my heart in the palm of your hands. I will do anything and everything to make sure your light never goes out. I will make sure that you always stay the amazing little girl you already are and the woman you will one day become.
I'm the lucky one, sweet girl. I will always be the lucky one, because I was lucky enough to have you in my life.
So, as you celebrate a year of life, I wish you more happiness than you can handle, more love than you thought imaginable, and the knowledge that you will forever be the light of my life. I love you my precious Skylar. And that will never change...