I’ve been slacking as a mom the past few months. I used to be pretty good about making sure Chase got out of the house almost everyday. Because of the toll this pregnancy is taking, I’ve been horrible about making sure he gets some “out-of-house” time. Friday, I finally got my head out of my butt, got dressed, and went to the park with Chase.
He had missed the park so much! He instantly bolted for the playground and started running around. Crawling through tunnels, sliding down the slides,
trying to eat the woodchips. He had a blast. There was one problem… which I
didn’t think would be a problem. There was nothing but girls at the park. All
screaming and meowing and running like their lives depended on it. He was quite
taken aback by the commotion, and spent a good chunk of time hiding in a tube
watching them from a peep-hole.
Things started getting better when he found a quiet little girl by the name
of Emma. She had just turned one, and was pretty content staying away from all
the action of her older sisters. He decided she would be a safe bet on making a
new friend. And boy did he. She took one look at him, walked over, and gave him
a giant bear hug. Then things went south. She reached for his binky. Oh! It was
on! In an instant he went from, “She’s cool and cute. I’ll play with her,” to
“Get her away! She’s evil and mean and a thief!” He bolted. Unfortunately, she
failed to receive the hint and promptly went after him. He would climb up onto
the highest platform of the playground, and she was right on his heels. He’d
crawl through a tube, she scampered right after him. And his face said it
all…
So much no...
Needless to say, I was no help. I found the entire thing so cute and
hysterical, that I just stood there laughing with Emma’s mom and grandma. I just
couldn’t believe that my son, the biggest flirt I’ve met, was rejecting an
adorable little girl over a binky! I also loved that Emma refused to acknowledge
his now apparent distaste for her. It wasn’t until after we got home and Chase
was down for a nap that I got to thinking about the entire scenario and how I
had just stumbled upon another life lesson/trait I wanted to instill into my
son.
This little girl loved Chase. And at first, Chase loved her. It was young
love, in it’s purest form. It wasn’t based on human size, color, hair length,
personality, or even gender. It was based on, “You are a person. I love you” And
Chase’s affection towards this little girl wasn’t deterred by anything more
simple than, “Hey. That’s my binky. Don’t touch.” It was simple, uncomplicated,
no fuss (except for the running away from Emma part) that caused that “love” to
dissipate. But still, the plainness of love in those first moments astounded me.
It made me smile. It made me think.
What if all love was like this? What if all love was based not on gender,
personality, hair color, height, sexual orientation, education, where you lived,
what you drive, and purely on, “You’re a person. I love you.” I look around the
world today and I’m saddened by all the negativity you find. It’s everywhere!
People fighting over what you can smoke behind closed doors, what you can say
into a microphone, and even who you can love. It’s entirely possible that cute
little Emma could grow up to be a wife and mother of three gorgeous children,
work in a corporate office, and have a white picket fence, all with a woman by
her side. She could also grow up, not finish high school, work three jobs, and
have a husband who beats her every night after drinking until 2 am. Which
way is right? Which way is wrong? Which version of Emma deserves more or less
love in her life? Both versions deserve the same amount and same unconditional
love in their life. And what about Chase? He could grow up to be an NFL
quarterback, have more money that humanly necessary, but be a drug addict. He
could also grow up to be a college drop-out, live in a crappy apartment, not a
dime to his name, and struggle everyday to make ends meet. Which Chase needs
more or deserves more love? Neither! Again, both scenarios deserve the same
unconditional love.
This is what I hope to teach my son… Everyone deserves love. Everyone
deserves unconditional, no strings attached love. Don’t base it on skin color,
where they came from, education, what job they have, what religion they
practice, what sports team the root for, their sexual orientation, the way they
talk, anything. You should love someone because they are a human being. You
don’t have to agree with anything they do, but that doesn’t mean you don’t love
them, or tell them they are wrong, or throw how much better you think you are
than them. Because you aren’t. No one is better than anyone else. We all fight
demons within ourselves and in the world. We all struggle with a plethora of
things. That doesn’t mean you stop loving someone or choose not to love. I can
only hope I can help Chase keep this “pure love” in his life for his entire
life. I truly believe that if he keeps that in mind and in heart, I will have
succeeded as a mother, no matter where he goes in life.
He had missed the park so much! He instantly bolted for the playground and started running around. Crawling through tunnels, sliding down the slides,
trying to eat the woodchips. He had a blast. There was one problem… which I
didn’t think would be a problem. There was nothing but girls at the park. All
screaming and meowing and running like their lives depended on it. He was quite
taken aback by the commotion, and spent a good chunk of time hiding in a tube
watching them from a peep-hole.
Things started getting better when he found a quiet little girl by the name
of Emma. She had just turned one, and was pretty content staying away from all
the action of her older sisters. He decided she would be a safe bet on making a
new friend. And boy did he. She took one look at him, walked over, and gave him
a giant bear hug. Then things went south. She reached for his binky. Oh! It was
on! In an instant he went from, “She’s cool and cute. I’ll play with her,” to
“Get her away! She’s evil and mean and a thief!” He bolted. Unfortunately, she
failed to receive the hint and promptly went after him. He would climb up onto
the highest platform of the playground, and she was right on his heels. He’d
crawl through a tube, she scampered right after him. And his face said it
all…
So much no...
Needless to say, I was no help. I found the entire thing so cute and
hysterical, that I just stood there laughing with Emma’s mom and grandma. I just
couldn’t believe that my son, the biggest flirt I’ve met, was rejecting an
adorable little girl over a binky! I also loved that Emma refused to acknowledge
his now apparent distaste for her. It wasn’t until after we got home and Chase
was down for a nap that I got to thinking about the entire scenario and how I
had just stumbled upon another life lesson/trait I wanted to instill into my
son.
This little girl loved Chase. And at first, Chase loved her. It was young
love, in it’s purest form. It wasn’t based on human size, color, hair length,
personality, or even gender. It was based on, “You are a person. I love you” And
Chase’s affection towards this little girl wasn’t deterred by anything more
simple than, “Hey. That’s my binky. Don’t touch.” It was simple, uncomplicated,
no fuss (except for the running away from Emma part) that caused that “love” to
dissipate. But still, the plainness of love in those first moments astounded me.
It made me smile. It made me think.
What if all love was like this? What if all love was based not on gender,
personality, hair color, height, sexual orientation, education, where you lived,
what you drive, and purely on, “You’re a person. I love you.” I look around the
world today and I’m saddened by all the negativity you find. It’s everywhere!
People fighting over what you can smoke behind closed doors, what you can say
into a microphone, and even who you can love. It’s entirely possible that cute
little Emma could grow up to be a wife and mother of three gorgeous children,
work in a corporate office, and have a white picket fence, all with a woman by
her side. She could also grow up, not finish high school, work three jobs, and
have a husband who beats her every night after drinking until 2 am. Which
way is right? Which way is wrong? Which version of Emma deserves more or less
love in her life? Both versions deserve the same amount and same unconditional
love in their life. And what about Chase? He could grow up to be an NFL
quarterback, have more money that humanly necessary, but be a drug addict. He
could also grow up to be a college drop-out, live in a crappy apartment, not a
dime to his name, and struggle everyday to make ends meet. Which Chase needs
more or deserves more love? Neither! Again, both scenarios deserve the same
unconditional love.
This is what I hope to teach my son… Everyone deserves love. Everyone
deserves unconditional, no strings attached love. Don’t base it on skin color,
where they came from, education, what job they have, what religion they
practice, what sports team the root for, their sexual orientation, the way they
talk, anything. You should love someone because they are a human being. You
don’t have to agree with anything they do, but that doesn’t mean you don’t love
them, or tell them they are wrong, or throw how much better you think you are
than them. Because you aren’t. No one is better than anyone else. We all fight
demons within ourselves and in the world. We all struggle with a plethora of
things. That doesn’t mean you stop loving someone or choose not to love. I can
only hope I can help Chase keep this “pure love” in his life for his entire
life. I truly believe that if he keeps that in mind and in heart, I will have
succeeded as a mother, no matter where he goes in life.
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