Being as I’ve done back-to-back pregnancies, I wasn’t able to get rid of all my baby fat from Chase before packing it back on with Sky. I started at 160 with Chase, but I started at 195 with Sky. A week before having Sky, I was at a whopping 255 lbs. And people wonder why I wanted to shoot them for asking
about twins. Why am I sharing my weight? Because as of four days ago, I was down to 205, just ten pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight for Sky. I was so stinkin’ excited! 50 pounds gone in 7 weeks? Yes please! While I’m still not uber comfortable in my body, I was definitely feeling better about myself. Then I had to go to the mall yesterday…
Gymboree was having a sale. Oh my goodness the cute baby girl clothes. I bee-lined for the little girls section and started browsing through the cuteness. Out of nowhere, a woman nearly hits me in the face reaching for something in front of me. I stepped back and sighed. After she moved back over a bit, I picked up the cutest pair of pants I’ve ever seen, complete with ruffles on the butt. EEEKKK! This woman who almost gave me a black eye then decides she needs to chit-chat about the sale, how cute the clothes are, and how she’s trying to buy something for her daughter-in-law who is due in a few weeks. Then, with a smile on her face she asks me, “So when is you’re baby due?” I kid you not, Kyle had to drag me away from her. I about punched her in the face, told her she was rude, and then kick her in the shin. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Every good feeling I had was gone as I bolted in the store because I was about to break
down and cry.
Needless to say, I was pretty much a wreck the rest of the day. I thought I was doing so good. I thought I was making a TON of progress. I was feeling really good about myself. And then this bimbo had to go and ruin it. I did tell her I had already had my baby and that she was seven weeks old. “Oh,” was all she said to me and she looked me over once again. Seriously. I wanted to beat the crap out of her. I couldn’t believe anything that had happened.
Now, I know she was stupid. I know she was talking out of her ass. I know I’ll never see her again and that I shouldn’t care what she thinks. But I couldn’t help but think to myself, is that how everyone is seeing me? Still pregnant because I’m still fat? Was I delusional in thinking I was doing good? Was Kyle lying to me when he told me I was doing awesome and he could see the difference? I had hit another low point and began searching for my anti-depressants.
No matter who you are, it hurts when people say stuff like that to you. When they point out your flaws and unknowingly rub them in your face. It sucks having the joy you were feeling sucked out of you by a stranger who says something mean, looks at you disapprovingly, or whatever. It just sucks. But you can’t
wallow in it. Trust me, I know it’s easier said than done. As soon as I left the store, I wanted to run to the Ben and Jerry’s stand in the food court and stuff my face. But I didn’t. Kyle and I left, I had a small dinner like I had planned, drank 4 glasses of water, and went to sleep. I woke up this morning feeling better. I feel better because even though she was rude and mean, I didn’t let her stop my progress.
I have total control over what happens in this weight loss journey (and life in general really). If I let those comments get to me, I might-as-well eat all the junk food in the house, never be active, and just get fatter. But, instead, I let her words get me mad, and I used it. Instead of a random stranger asking me if I’m pregnant when I’m almost 8 weeks post-partum, I want them to ask me how the hell I stay so fit. I want Kyle to be proud of me, I want my kids to learn my good habits from me, and I want to feel awesome in shorts again. I want to be able to run with Chase without feeling like everything is jiggling like Jell-O. I want to be able to buy whatever clothes I want instead of just what’s available for my “size.” And I’ll get there. So take that rude baby store lady. You can go suck it because I will rock this!