Take Your Own Advice

People like to talk to me. That's not me tooting my own horn. That's just fact. I'm a good listener. Along with that though is I don't sugar coat things. If you ask my opinion, you will get it point blank. It may not be what you want to hear, but you'll get it all the same. I make people angry sometimes by doing that (just ask my younger sister). But I do it that way for a reason.

There's no use sugar coating the truth. No one benefits from that. I'm a big believer in facing problems head on and pushing through them. Putting them off or indirectly dealing with them won't help the problem and can sometimes even make it worse. 

But here is where my fault comes in. 

I don't take my own advice.

I'm good at helping others through their problems. It's what I live for. Helping other get to their happy place is something I enjoy doing. I've been told I should be a therapist so I can at least get paid. But I'm not about that. And the tuition is crazy expensive. I've always been a "fixer" and I'm someone people lean on when they can no longer stand up straight. 

The problem with that is, I end up with no one to lean on sometimes. 

I constantly tell others to lean on me or someone they trust for support when they need it. I rarely do that myself though. I've become too good at letting people lean on me and not leaning on them when I need to. I don't want to burden them. I've set myself up as the strong one, who can take on anything. And it's a problem. 

Take now for instance... there are a million things going on with friends and family right now. I have a lot of people leaning on me right now as they stumble through their problems. I'm happy to do it. That's what I do for the people that I love and care for. 

But I can't lie when I say I'm starting to crack under the pressure. 

I feel like I'm standing in front of a firing squad being shot at. I'm protecting those that I love from the bullets, but because everyone is hunkered down behind me, they don't see that I'm starting to bleed out. But even then, I keep protecting who I can. I keep helping who I can. 

But I need to start taking my own advice. I need to start listening to myself a bit more. I need to start letting go of my inability to lean on others. It's hard for me though. I don't want to be seen as weak. It's a vicious circle. Either way, I need to start opening up and voicing my own feelings more instead of just giving to others. 

So here's my advice to you...

Take your own advice. 

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