The other day though, I was reading through some random blogs. I came across one in which the author had interviewed her husband about sex, and the answers were surprising. And it gave me an idea.
I went and found Kyle and asked if I could interview him for the blog. Of course he asked what about.
"What it's like living with a spouse who suffers from a mental illness."
He paused for a moment. I quizzical look came across his face. I told him he didn't have to, but I thought it was a good idea to get a different point of view when it comes to mental illness.
Obviously, he agreed, otherwise I wouldn't have posted this or told you anything about it. So here it is. An interview I thought I'd never do.
How do you feel about mental illnesses in general?
Um. I mean, they are out there. There is no getting away from them. They don't bother me. I'm willing to help when and where I can. Plain and simple.
Were you aware of mental illnesses before meeting me?
Yeah. I remembering hearing about them in the news. You've been the closest person to me with a mental illness. I've learned a lot pretty quick.
Did you ever think that I would have a relapse?
I didn't think you would. I hoped you wouldn't. But it was in the back of my head. It was always a possibility. Not something I was prepared for, even though I knew it was a possibility.
What was your initial reaction to my recent trip to the mental hospital?
I was in shock at first that it happened. It all happened really fast. It really sucked hearing what was going on, but it was all for the better.
Do you think it was overall a good or bad thing?
I think it was a good thing because we ended up getting the help that you needed, and you've been doing much, much better since.
What's the scariest part of having a wife with a mental illness and leaving the kids with me?
Hmm. The scariest part is you being by yourself with no backup. I know that you could have a really rough day, and there is no way for me to help out with it. I'm not scared that you are going to hurt the kids or yourself. I'm just worried about a breakdown and you could end up back in the hospital where I can't comfort or help you.
What's the hardest part about having a wife with a mental illness?
Trying to make sure I don't set you off. Making sure.... um... how do I word this? Making sure no one pushes you over your limits (kids, inlaws, etc.) Just keeping everyone in check. Keeping your anxiety level down.
If you could tell people with mental illnesses one thing, what would it be?
Don't let them drag you down. They are out there. People have them, and you are one of them. But do not let them bring your spirit down.
Some of the answers I knew already since we talk about my mental illness pretty often. Other answers surprised me a bit. I didn't realize how much time he spends keeping not just the kids in line, but the whole family. I knew he would give the fair warning if I was just not with it one day, but he's actively talking to his family about ways they can help. If that doesn't prove I married a good one, I don't know what does.
I'm also very proud of my husband for being as open about all of this. Mental illness in a spouse is a very scary thing, but he carries the as if it was nothing. He's also not afraid to talk and listen to those people he knows about mental illness. It doesn't phase him anymore.
I want to thank my amazing hubby-bubby, Kyle, for letting me use him for this interview. I appreciate his willingness to help not only me, but other people who suffer. You are amazing pookie-wokie-bear!
(I wonder how big of an eye-roll I'm going to get later for all the mush!! LOL)