Miss Skylar had her six month well baby check this week. She's perfect, as if I needed confirmation. She could be purple with 3 arms and 1 leg and I'd still think she was perfect. She's free until she's 9 months old, so she'll get a well deserved break from shots!
Chase had his birthday party this past weekend. It was a blast! It wasn't a huge group, but we had a handful of kids come over so both Chase and Skylar got some playtime in. The kids were exhausted after playing in the sandbox, the pool, chasing each other around the yard, and playing on the swing set. It was wonderful watching them all play together. The food wasn't bad either, if I do say so myself!
I had a wisdom tooth pulled earlier today. Not. Fun. I'm getting the other one pulled in two weeks before it starts causing problems. I'm less nervous about that one, though. My dentist is A-Maze-Ing. He's super funny and is very patient with me and my whimpy-ness. The next one won't be any problems for me.
Amongst all this, I've been struggling. I'm sure part of it has to do with all of the craziness going on and not getting a breather from it yet. But, it still sucks. I'm slowly slipping back into that mind set of, "When does it get better?"
"When do I feel normal?"
"I'm sick of taking pills."
"I'm ready for this to all be over."
And then I remember, it may never truly end. I'll probably be on medication for a very long time, due to the severity, the unpredictability, and uncertainty of my diagnoses (because we STILL don't have an actual diagnoses). It's frustrating to think about. I don't like uncertainty. I'm not good with it. I like knowing what's going to happen (which is why I probably jump to conclusions all the time).
I have to keep reminding myself though that it's for the better. All this struggling, suffering, and confusion is going to lead to somewhere awesome. It's going to lead to a better me, even before all the mental illness hoopla. I'm going to be the mom I want to be. I'm going to be the wife I want to be. I'm going to be the person I want to be.
I just need to be patient...
Am I there yet?