There. I said it.
That could be the end of this post. Short and sweet. Straight to the point.
But it's never that easy, is it?
It's hard spending so many years with someone, and realizing it's at an end. It's hard moving on from the life you've built and worked so hard to achieve. A lot of time and effort goes into making things work. But sometimes, nothing you do can change the fact that two pieces just don't go together the way you hoped they would.
I should never have gotten married. I felt pressured and I felt like that's what everyone I knew expected me to do, especially after getting pregnant with Chase. I felt like I would disappoint everyone I knew if I DIDN'T get married and settle down. Because I got married under that impression, I doomed it from the start.
This in no way means I didn't love my husband. I still do. Deeply. But we are not compatible as a couple, there's nothing wrong with that. Kyle is still one of my best friends, and that will never change. I'm glad that he's still in my life, and not just as the father of my children.
Kyle and I worked for years to make our relationship work, but it didn't work. We finally decided that we needed to split. We wanted to be able to still do things as a family and be happy about it. I didn't want to be like other divorced couples we know that can't stand to be in the same room together. We wanted more for our kids.
We are just two different to be together as a husband and wife. He and I want different things in our lives, need different things to be happy, and have different "picket fence" dreams in our head. I still want the best for him, and he still wants the best for me.
It sucks. Don't get me wrong. We both still hurt and are still grieving over this loss. But, I know it's for the best. Doing this is something that we both needed to do. I needed to do this to not only be a better person for myself, but for my kids. This is what we needed to do to actually save our family.
Life is a roller coaster. People come in and out of our lives, teach us things about ourselves and the world around us. Kyle taught me so many things, and I'll never be able to thank him enough for that. But, it was time. Luckily, he will still always have my back, and I'll have his. You by no means heard the last about Kyle.
Thanks in advance for all the love and support from you guys. I appreciate it. But this is an amazing thing for us in the long run. You guys are amazing and I'm so glad to finally be back to continue my journey as a Maniac Mom.